Login Register 50 Quick Jokes to Text Your Friends
WANT TO PUT A SMILE ON SOMEONE’S FACE?
Send them a quick joke in a text messege.
1
Two men walk into a bar.
The third one ducks!
Because 7 ate 9!
3
I’m reading an antigravity book
It’s impossible to put down!
4
What kind of cheese doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
They make up everything!
6
Why do mushrooms get invited to all the best parties?
Because they are such fungis!
7
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot!
Because they can’t see eye to eye!
9
Can February March?
No, but April May!
10
What’s the loneliest cheese?
ProvAlone!
11
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!
12
Did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
13
What do you call a cold dog?
14
Why did the cat run away from the tree?
It was afraid of the bark!
15
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
16
Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
They’d crack each other up!
17
How do you fix a broken tomato?
Tomato paste!
18
Why did the hipster burn his tongue on coffee?
Because he drank it before it was cool!
19
Why did the farmer win an award?
He was out standing in his field!
20
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships!
21
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
22
What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato?
Ketchup!
23
What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved!
24
Why do birds fly south?
It’s easier than walking!
25
What’s a plant’s favorite drink?
Root beer!
Earth makes fun of other planets for having no life?!
27
Who cleans the ocean?
28
Velcro…
Is such a rip-off!
29
What kind of songs do tortillas write?
30
What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurty!
31
Why don’t people like Russian dolls?
Because they are full of themselves!
32
You know what they say about cliffhangers…
…
33
What did the hungry clock do?
It went back 4 seconds!
34
What’s the best season for trampolines?
35
What kind of button doesn’t button or unbutton?
A belly button!
36
Why did the two 4s skip dinner?
They already 8!
37
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
38
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are ears everywhere!
39
Why did the gardener quit?
Her celery wasn’t high enough!
40
I used to hate facial hair.
But then it grew on me!
41
Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard?
42
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
43
Why can’t you trust a burrito?
Because they tend to spill the beans!
44
What do bees brush their hair with?
45
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snowbanks!
46
Why is a carrot the best detective?
They get to the root of every case!
47
What do you call a meditating wolf?
Aware wolf!
48
What do you call an American bee?
A USB!
49
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It was tense!
50
Why did the walnut go out with a prune?
Because they couldn’t find a date!
and on number 50 first date joke we end this bit of fun and leave you to ponder..
what the hell am I doing here?
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